Reading Ray Bradbury

Its suddenly occurred to me that in my want to become a writer…… well even that statement seems odd now I have typed it out. Do i want to be a writer or do I want to write? It’s occurred to me, suddenly, whilst reading up on writing and writers, that I am so busy wanting to be a writer because something inside me has a yearning for it, that I’ve suddenly realised that I don’t actually want to write a novel. I’ve not got a good story in me, no big idea, no character I want to develop, nothing. So where does that leave me? I still want to write so i guess I must just follow the advice in the books I’m reading and just keep on writing. Get my blogs down, get my ideas down, develop a daily writing practice, read and read some more, all the things that as time goes on I’m enjoying more and more.

The joy I’ve just got from having discovered Ray Bradbury and reading the Magic he creates with his words, his ability to form a sentence like I would never dream of doing, has cemented my appreciation of writing and story telling that I never got when i was growing up. Reading was always such a chore and it never appealed to me which is why this is all a bit of a surprise to me now. I’ll not rule out never writing that elusive novel, as life is full of surprises, but perhaps I should look into the journalist route and write articles or investigate something and write this up, or write about my life in previous jobs….. I’m not sure, but its clear, I’ve not really thought this through for a long while. Is that a problem? No I don’t think so. Reading as I am now, about lots of successful writers it’s apparent to me that none of them really had a plan, they just wrote because thats what they wanted to do and i should just stop making excuses and get on with writing what comes into my head. More importantly, as many writers say, just write and write for yourself, doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I may have started this blog a long time ago under the pretense that I didn’t care if anyone read it, it would remain for my eyes only if necessary, but deep down, I suppose it does bother me slightly, what people might be thinking. When you have spent your life not being very creative in the arts world, to suddenly be creating a peice of work that will be judged and have opinion cast upon it, it’s a big learning curve for me. I’m over that now though. I’m just going to put some work out there and see where it takes me. You never know, I’m always surprised by the many twists and turns life has had in store for me, and I desperately need a hobby outside of work and family and kids, something i can dive into and take myself out of reality for a while. Pre my back injury, that was training, and martial arts of all sorts, but over the past few years and all my health problems this is becoming a more and more distant memory, of another almost forgotten past.

So in tribute to my new found love of Ray Bradbury (he’s the first person to ever get me to read and love poetry by the way ) I have just poured my unconscious out here without really checking, and now without proof reading with my limited knowledge of grammar, I’m just going to publish this, and to hell with it.

Publish…… go on…. stop pretending you’re just going to do it, and do it. Press publish

PRESS IT!!

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So Chaz decides to blog

If its good enough for stephen fry then its good enough for me, blogging, that is to log stuff on the web as I’ve just discovered! Web/log . . . . Blog. Didn’t know that but I thought before I started I should do some research as all good writers should! Let me explain tho, I’m not a writer. Never been that good at gramma c! In fact if it wasn’t for Facebook I really wouldn’t have a clue about most things relating to written word. Bit of a white Lie of course as I feel my mum cringing as she reads this.

I’ve always liked reading but never been that good at it! It takes a seriously good book to grab my attention long enough to read all the way through, however many have succeeded. I’m told I don’t need to be that good really. The modern iPhone has very good auto correct and access to web means I can research most other things. I’m a good solid learner with no ego or pre judgmental ideas about learning. Which means I soak up new data well. Retaining it is a whole other story for another day. Truth is I just lack a bit of something upstairs which has hindered me most my life but what I lacked in that I excelled in common sense. So I know a little about a bit and that mixed with a bit of common sense and a lot of life experience! I mean a lot, I’ve started a blog. Already without having a clue what I was going to talk about I’ve waffled on for a couple of paragraphs. So here’s to a new adventure in print and blogging and moving on from my micro blogging on Facebook and twitter! Lets get this blog on the road!

So why is it a new adventure then, some of you won’t know me of course. Some of you won’t realise the terrible / joyful / hard / easy / painful twists my life just took in the last few years. Those who are my social friends on Facebook know only to well my ups and downs as I’ve flooded their timelines with most of it since day one of joining up. But to you the new reader ill start by just giving an over view of what’s gone before.

I was a prison officer for ten years, then “they” started to mess things around and screw with honest hard working genuine people. I hated that, and so slowly but surely fought back “they” hated that even more. Stress, hatred, fear, all welled up boredom also sank in. I got injured in the line of duty, and a stupid training course I shouldn’t have been on. Then they picked on me, bullied me. I dragged it out and played their silly game until I couldn’t take any more, I then left the job (medically retired) I loved, and the people I loved and also hated some of them! I found out some people were stabbing me in the back and life hit rock bottom during all of this. I was paralysed with my injury. It was a long long long recovery, still going on to this day. My daughter who is two this year, my beautiful girlfriend and my two sons and of course my very closest friends and family saved my life. I had something to do with saving my life as well however. I allowed, as I do, everybody in. Not easy when your on the bottom and you were on the top. But life has taught me to be honest and it worked. Wow that really was the short version, but I’m sure ill go over stuff as this goes on. It’s a start.

So is any one going to read this or am I talking to myself, I don’t give what’s-it either way. Call it therapy for me. I got loads in my head that I’ve been through that prob could do with coming out. Death, Suicide, death more deaths, my suicidal thoughts, parents splitting up, selling drugs, takin drugs, arresting thousands of shoplifters, fighting most of them, friends, enemy’s, the doors, the fights, wrongful arrest, becoming an officer, the challenges, new friends, the fights, the deaths, the long training, the riots, the fights, the challenges, the deaths!! Loss!! Loosing faith gaining knowledge, gaining inspiration, awakening to what’s really going on in this world, finding a little man who lived 2500 years ago called Buddha, and having the strength to be different and not give a damn what people think. Wow that’s a lot! Still here? I know my mum is, that’s her job. So lets blog! Lets get some stuff out my head and let’s start this new life together, well its a few months old already but your here any way. It won’t all be about me, but it will be me talking and putting my spin on stuff and trying to make sense of it all, and if my phone crashes now none of this will ever see the light of day!! You better hold on d . . . .