Dedicated to Searching

Dedicated to Searching

Ten years served under her majesty’s crown as a prison officer, trained from day one, in the art of searching. Searching cells, rooms, open areas. Ten years of active searching, missing stuff, finding stuff, the cat and mouse game of chess, the offender with time on his hands, time to plan, scheme, plot. Then in my last year of service came the dedicated search team, the higher level of prison security search team training, taught by experts that have spent years perfecting their field of expertise. Explosive devices, weapons, adapted weapons, drugs, contraband of every description hidden in all manner of places.

I have searched in cavity’s no man should ever have to look in, searching for things you wouldn’t believe fit into those cavity’s . .

Little did I realise that in retirement from the service, in peace time, on civvie street, in my own home . . . I would need these skills again!
For I have . . . ((a daughter)) . . . and damn it, she is testing my very searching skills to the ends of her Little Tikes premium cooking creations wood kitchen and matching accessories set . . . She’s good damn it, but I won’t be beaten, I’ll find every set of car keys, earrings and mummy’s anti children medication she try’s to conceal up dollies skirts and and in between the pages of the Gruffalo . . I remain unbeaten presently but am unsure of how long this victory will hold, I simply can’t afford to lose, the thought of being stood on my doorway one morning dressed ready for work and suddenly noticing I have no car keys is too much to cope with at 6 in the morning.

Little Tykes, how could you, you’ve basically created an inmates dream, a self contained, concealment paradise without the security bolts and anti tamper head screw tops. The fridge is currently her favourite stash hole, however the microwave and dishwasher have all been used in the past to squirrel away nabbed goodies. I’m already thinking ahead to the possibility’s involved in the matching salt, pepper and spice accessory pots.

I shouldn’t moan of course, this is only the beginning I’m sure, I’ve looked around the room and realised that Little Tykes is just the training ground for the real world. My house is just a big version of all things little tykes. Boys by the way, I can cope with, I have experience of boys, I was one after all. I hid stuff, sometimes not so well. I’m reminded of 10 B&H and a green lighter, oh and a pen Knife I stuck into my bookshelf before being promptly distracted by my mates calling round for me and then running out the door and forgetting all about them. I can still hear my Dad shouting for me out the window, the sudden realisation of what I had done slowly dawning on me, before the long walk back home.

Any one with tips help or advice for the future would be greatly appreciated . . . Prison life just didn’t prepare me for this level of skulduggery!

So Chaz decides to blog

If its good enough for stephen fry then its good enough for me, blogging, that is to log stuff on the web as I’ve just discovered! Web/log . . . . Blog. Didn’t know that but I thought before I started I should do some research as all good writers should! Let me explain tho, I’m not a writer. Never been that good at gramma c! In fact if it wasn’t for Facebook I really wouldn’t have a clue about most things relating to written word. Bit of a white Lie of course as I feel my mum cringing as she reads this.

I’ve always liked reading but never been that good at it! It takes a seriously good book to grab my attention long enough to read all the way through, however many have succeeded. I’m told I don’t need to be that good really. The modern iPhone has very good auto correct and access to web means I can research most other things. I’m a good solid learner with no ego or pre judgmental ideas about learning. Which means I soak up new data well. Retaining it is a whole other story for another day. Truth is I just lack a bit of something upstairs which has hindered me most my life but what I lacked in that I excelled in common sense. So I know a little about a bit and that mixed with a bit of common sense and a lot of life experience! I mean a lot, I’ve started a blog. Already without having a clue what I was going to talk about I’ve waffled on for a couple of paragraphs. So here’s to a new adventure in print and blogging and moving on from my micro blogging on Facebook and twitter! Lets get this blog on the road!

So why is it a new adventure then, some of you won’t know me of course. Some of you won’t realise the terrible / joyful / hard / easy / painful twists my life just took in the last few years. Those who are my social friends on Facebook know only to well my ups and downs as I’ve flooded their timelines with most of it since day one of joining up. But to you the new reader ill start by just giving an over view of what’s gone before.

I was a prison officer for ten years, then “they” started to mess things around and screw with honest hard working genuine people. I hated that, and so slowly but surely fought back “they” hated that even more. Stress, hatred, fear, all welled up boredom also sank in. I got injured in the line of duty, and a stupid training course I shouldn’t have been on. Then they picked on me, bullied me. I dragged it out and played their silly game until I couldn’t take any more, I then left the job (medically retired) I loved, and the people I loved and also hated some of them! I found out some people were stabbing me in the back and life hit rock bottom during all of this. I was paralysed with my injury. It was a long long long recovery, still going on to this day. My daughter who is two this year, my beautiful girlfriend and my two sons and of course my very closest friends and family saved my life. I had something to do with saving my life as well however. I allowed, as I do, everybody in. Not easy when your on the bottom and you were on the top. But life has taught me to be honest and it worked. Wow that really was the short version, but I’m sure ill go over stuff as this goes on. It’s a start.

So is any one going to read this or am I talking to myself, I don’t give what’s-it either way. Call it therapy for me. I got loads in my head that I’ve been through that prob could do with coming out. Death, Suicide, death more deaths, my suicidal thoughts, parents splitting up, selling drugs, takin drugs, arresting thousands of shoplifters, fighting most of them, friends, enemy’s, the doors, the fights, wrongful arrest, becoming an officer, the challenges, new friends, the fights, the deaths, the long training, the riots, the fights, the challenges, the deaths!! Loss!! Loosing faith gaining knowledge, gaining inspiration, awakening to what’s really going on in this world, finding a little man who lived 2500 years ago called Buddha, and having the strength to be different and not give a damn what people think. Wow that’s a lot! Still here? I know my mum is, that’s her job. So lets blog! Lets get some stuff out my head and let’s start this new life together, well its a few months old already but your here any way. It won’t all be about me, but it will be me talking and putting my spin on stuff and trying to make sense of it all, and if my phone crashes now none of this will ever see the light of day!! You better hold on d . . . .